


Poise and Poison

by Larrys_Middle_Child



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Ballet, Ballet Dancer Louis Tomlinson, Beautiful, Beautiful Harry Styles, Beautiful Louis Tomlinson, Bottom Louis Tomlinson, College, Dancer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fashion Designer Harry Styles, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Louis Tomlinson, Insecurity, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Plot Twists, Private School, Relationship(s), Rivalry, Romance, Sad, Sleepy Kisses, Strangers to Lovers, Top Harry, Top Harry Styles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larrys_Middle_Child/pseuds/Larrys_Middle_Child
Summary: Louis Tomlinson is majoring in dance (ballet) at one of the most prestigious art schools in the world, when he's partnered up with fashion major/designer Harry Styles to come up with a perfect performance in time for their upcoming recital.  What will happen when Harry uncovers something about Louis that Louis has kept a secret for years.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t a secret to anyone that Louis Tomlinson didn’t talk much. In fact, most people in the class had not heard a single word come out of his mouth for the entire three months he’d been in the class. Attending one of the most prestigious arts schools in the world surprised people how to himself he was. Everyone had seemed to find their clique in uni. Including Louis. But he never walked with anyone in the halls, he was known to stay after his dance class and work on a dance of his own. Normally, it was too late for anyone to stay and watch him without getting caught. Louis was graceful on his feet, as being one of the only males in his ballet class. It wasn’t only his dance people watched in awe of. He himself was graceful, every step seemed properly planned. The way he spoke, the way he laughed, simply awed everyone. When he did speak, he had a very soft tone, never raised his voice or never needed to frankly. He was unaware of it however, as a humble boy, truly he didn’t need to know. 

His icy blue eyes cascaded around the room as he planned in his mind the places he was to plie and where he needed to do what he did best. His proper attire for this class was a gray hoodie, his black joggers and his black leather ballet shoes. The participants in the class and some watched from outside the classroom to simply catch a glimpse of the graceful boy. All watching in sheer anticipation. The orchestral music began and the dancer was on the floor. All eyes were on his movement, as he landed every assemble and pirouette he set off to do. Louis was completely focused on making it look easy, as for him, it came easier, but never the slightest bit easy. 

Louis began to improvise a bit of his movements, letting his body move and react to the crescendo of the orchestra playing. Without knowledge of the dancer, more people had lined up around the tinted windows connected to the hallway, watching. Most of the students were completely aware of his improvising, baffled at how planned it looked, how effortlessly he moved. The trumpets blasted through the speakers, his head rolled back as he landed the perfect sauté. Earning a few cheers which were quickly hushed by the teacher. Truthfully, the students really didn’t mean to interrupt, just way too into the dance. 

Louis ignored the slight distraction and continued with his performance. However if the mild disruption wasn’t enough, his eye caught a person just at the end of his performance. Instead of landing the developpe, his leg somewhat buckled a bit. He played it off by adding another movement of his leg, but he was sure that his teacher had seen. In frustration, he turned to face the boy person who’d distracted him. 

It was a boy, he was tall and had a sly smirk across his face, looking straight at the ballerino. Louis huffed ever so slightly, averting his harsh gaze towards his teacher, who then led the class and hallway into a round of great applause. A small smile crept onto Louis’ face as he listened to the applause, frowning once again upon seeing the tall boy clapping as well. Louis pranced off the wood floor and over to the secluded corner where he always sits. 

Louis had danced nearly all his life, it was his way of talking when he didn't feel like it (which seemed to be quite often). He loved everything about the sport, around his room in his apartment, the walls were neatly littered with pictures of his favorite ballerinas and dancers. It was a feeling he couldn't describe. Weightless. Unstoppable when his leather clothed feet hit the wood floor. Upon a few little shelves were a few of his favorite shoes he'd worn. The first time he was able to wear pointe shoes, they were pink (rather dusted now) and the toe boxes of the shoe were still sturdy. He would be lying if he said he didn't try them on every once in a while. 

Louis was frustrated with himself, and with the boy who distracted him. He'd never seen him before, but already the water between them was ridged and hot, though not a word was spoken. Louis clenched his jaw slightly, stressed now that he had to now face his dance teacher with only a near flawless performance. In this nervous state, Louis gripped his shoed feet, squeezing slightly and leaning down to rest his chin upon his feet in a butterfly type position. Louis knew he was flexible, which is what infuriated him about the situation. He could've landed it perfectly, if only he'd been more focused. He had always been hard on himself, arguably to a great extent. 

He was broken out of his deprecating thoughts to realize the class and the people in the hallways were still clapping for him. In response to the attention, Louis smiled and gave a small curt nod. Slowly, the clapping died down as people realized how close class was to ending. Louis gathered his cloth padding for his hands, putting them in his bag and slinging the black bag over his shoulder. As the bell rang he attempted to get his tennis shoe up his heel, doing the odd hop walk out the door. Louis caught a glimpse of the boy, tall, curly hair, talking with two other boys. Louis bit the inside of his lip, trying not to give into the temptation of yelling at him for messing him up. Thankfully, Louis felt a familiar arms wrap around his shoulders.

"Saw your performance, kid. You killed it." Liam Payne smiled giving Louis a fist bump. Louis gave a small laugh and pushed Liam's chest slightly.

"Thanks mate." Louis giggled, wriggling himself against Liam's now bone crushing hug. "Love, you're gonna kill me if you squeeze any harder." Louis said, muffled by the fabric of Liam's shirt. Liam patted Louis' back a few times and finally let go, saying, 

"Sorry buddy, I'm just proud of you. We were going to go get some celebratory food if you wanted to come." Liam pointed finger guns at Louis playfully.

"Sure. I need to get home to change real quick." Said Louis, readjusting the bag on his shoulder. Liam offered to take Louis, to which Louis agreed, as his feet seemed to always be sore, and he didn't feel like walking. He felt the slight sting simply walking to Liam's car. Louis had seemed to forget about what had happened in class today, seeing as nobody commented on it. Louis let out a long yawn as he sat in the passenger seat, eyes gliding around at the people on campus. Once again, the tall boy appeared, wearing a black shirt and stylish baby blue pants. Louis smiled slightly at the handsome boy, quickly pushing the thought and smile away once he was aware of what he was doing. 

Louis pursed his lips together and leaned his head back on the headrest, closing his eyes as Liam began to drive. 

When they got back to the apartment, Louis was immediately engulfed in a hug, initiated by the brunette Irish he lived with. 

"Good job, Lou! You did so good." Niall yelled, Louis smiling, barely accepting the compliment as the guilt of messing up crept in once again. But again, he thanked him and Louis went into his room to change. Slipping his tennis shoes off and putting on a pair of black espadrilles with a pair of gray sweatpants and a large black hoodie. It wasn't of any significance to Louis, walking out of his room looking exhausted.

"I'd take it the dance took a bit out of ya, mate." Niall patted Louis on the back. 

"You could say that." Louis chuckled, rubbing his eyes with the covered sleeves of the sweatshirt where his hands should have been, covered in the soft fabric. The boys piled into the car and drove to the sandwich restaurant that resided on campus near the math halls. It wasn't normal for the quiet one to be the secret popular one. Typically, it would've been Harry Styles and his group of fashion friends, known for being charming and still rambunctious. Of course they had to be, they attracted people through looks and charm. Irresistible as most of the incoming freshman would call them.

But with Louis, it was more of a hidden art popularity. And the fact that he was completely oblivious to it. Not that he would be comfortable with the level of adoration if it were to be showered upon him. That was what the people liked. He was unaware of his talent. Or he knew and was just too humble to bring his ability to execute it perfectly. When in reality, he knew he could dance, but he was so painfully nitpicky, he never truly allowed himself to be proud of what he had accomplished. It was a sad reality, the unknown grace he was seen with was unseen by him.

Even a few 'good job's were thrown his way as they entered the restaurant. Louis simply thought they were pitying him, knowing he'd messed up. 

After eating, Louis couldn't wait to get back to the studio. He waited until his friends were asleep, deep into the night before he headed back out to the studio. Louis had a specific way he'd get to the studio. He would go through the field in all black, and enter the room from the back alleyway. His teacher knew he went, which is why his the room was always unlocked for him, or she would leave a key near the farthest left garbage bin. Louis decided against the all black today as it was nearing winter, the nights were already dark enough. So he was simply dressed in that big black sweatshirt and gray leggings. Louis grabbed his speaker and his phone, along with his leather ballet shoes and headed out of his apartment. 

The ballet classes had come in handy, as the slight tiptoe or toe-ball-heel was quiet enough to get him to the studio without any problems. The key was near the bin, he quickly grabbed the metal key with his cold hand. The familiar smell of lemon disinfectant mixed subtly with cashmere. Louis inhaled harshly, enjoying the aroma of the dance studio. As the music began, it seemed the whole world stopped to listen, or to watch him dance. Nobody could stop him, he was off and running now. A few students watched from their dorms at the beauty on the dance floor. 

He felt the music in his soul as he always did. 

Now completely oblivious to perfect mistakes he'd made. This floor felt like a canvas, a paper, his art. And once a painter begins, they must not finish until the work is done. He'd sweat his passion until he dripped, simply to release the pent up tension of the day and his overactive mind. Every pirouette was thirty pounds of weight lifted from its previous home upon Louis small shoulders. 

To challenge the odds, he leaped into another developpe. He lifted off the floor, got his leg up in the air, then ending with landing on his bum. From there he laid down on his back and looked up at the ridiculously high ceilings. He was completely out of breath, panting on the wooden floor in somewhat of a starfish position. 

"Fucking hell." Louis huffed as he stood up, stretching his leg up and turning his back to the right slightly, to stretch it out more.

So he tried it again, and again and again with no such luck.


	2. Chapter 2

With the knowledge of the inability to perfect the developpe, Louis could barely sleep that night. He awoke to the sunlight from his window shining through. He could already hear Liam and Niall laughing in the kitchen whilst their fourth roommate, Ed, was trying to order breakfast for everybody. Louis closed his eyes to further adjust to the harsh sunlight, that seemed now to be blinding. His door opened, and there stood a frazzled redhead with rounded black glasses upon his face. He had the phone up to his ear, looking at Louis with wide eyes as if to ask, ‘what do you want?’ Louis shrugged and whispered a quick, 

“Pancakes?” To which Ed nodded and repeated into the phone, leaving Louis’ room. Louis remained in bed until he realized he couldn’t go back to sleep. A long drawn out breath and Louis was out and gathering his clothes for the day, settling on a pale pink hoodie and a tighter black jogger than yesterday. Their breakfast came surprisingly quickly. Stretching out his tense muscles, he exited his room to see a few clothing items from Liam’s suitcase thrown around the room, with an empty suitcase upon the floor near the couch. 

“Bloody hell, can we keep anything clean around here lads?” Louis questioned, grabbing a few shirts, and beginning to fold them. The two other boys ignored him whilst Ed came over to help fold. 

“It’d be a miracle if one day they did.” Ed laughed, displaying a disgusted look at Liam as he threw a pair of his boxers upon the coffee table, then launching it at Liam. Louis believed it was the sarcastic bickering that kept the four being friends, that and simply having no knowledge of anyone else at the school yet. Ed and Niall had other friends, but Louis and Liam had only come around four months prior and were too focused on their studies to socialize. Louis was unsure of the plans his ballet teacher had today, probably to review the performances from last time, which Louis slightly dreaded. Louis glanced up at the analog clock upon the wall, stuffing one of the pancakes into his mouth, the other in his hand, he grabbed his backpack and ran out the door. He made sure he had everything in his bag heading down the stairs. He had never been late before and wasn’t in the mood or mental capacity to start today. His first class was dance history, which for some reason was a required class to get a degree in dance. It was boring and half the time Louis wasn’t paying attention. 

His knowledge of the course was already done previously in his early years and plastered around his bedroom. So, in truth, he really didn’t need to pay that much attention. Louis got to the linoleum floored classroom and sat in his usual seat in the back. Louis folded his arms and slumped in his chair, his eyes fluttering close as exhausted wracked over his small frame. He could hear the distant hum of the sewing machines behind him, where the fashion department was. 

Unlike any other day, he saw a figure come and sit beside him. He was rather pale, taller and had black curly hair. Louis peeked at the male through his long eyelashes. The boy turned to Louis, giving him a polite smile. 

“I’m Nick.” He held his hand out for Louis to shake. Louis gave him a small smile, hesitant to return the hand gesture, but decided to take Nick’s large hand in his. Louis opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, 

“Louis, isn’t it? I saw your performance yesterday. Wow, it was amazing.” Nick let out a long breath. Louis smiled and immediately took recognition of Nick’s face. He was standing the one who had distracted him and made him mess up. The other tall one. Louis’ smile disappeared and he turned back to face the professor that was now standing at the podium. Louis had gotten a good look at the distractors face, but never could put a name to it. He just hadn’t known too many people. Louis noticed that Nick smelled of cigarettes and cola. An odd combination that somehow smelled good. Finally, after too long of his professor babbling about well understood topics, Louis grabbed his bag and left to head to the dance studio. Louis felt rejoiced as he entered and saw his teacher waving at him. He gave a large smile and waved back. 

“Alright, let’s get stretches going and we’ll start soon.” His teacher clapped a few times within her sentence. So, he listened doing a few leg stretches, then laying on his back. However, that didn’t last long as in the silence of the room was soon interrupted by the door opening and multiple patters of feet entering the room. Louis furrowed his eyebrows and sat up quickly, backing up slightly as around thirty well-dressed students entered the studio. 

Louis began to bite the inside of his lip, backing up until his back hit the wall. Stares of the students often fell upon him. Trying to get him to smile, many of the students casted grins his way. Louis didn’t take part in the action, just sat there overwhelmed by how many people were in the room. The normal ballet class consisted of sixteen students including him, he wasn’t used to a crowd. Louis’ gaze drifted to his teacher frantically, expecting an explanation. She simply gave a quick smile and stood up. 

“As you can see, we don’t have our usual class today,” She started and Louis heart began to pound out of his chest, still feeling eyes upon him. He wondered if they could tell how frantic he was, how close he was to a panic attack. One side of him hoped they had no clue, and the other part of him wished they had, and that would make them keep their distance. Or at least that’s what he thought. “Today we are joined by our fashion majors. Together a dancer and a designer will come up with the perfect performance for our recital in three months.” Louis watched his teacher in horror as the words came out of her mouth. He believed she was crazy for thinking this was a good idea. He was to trust somebody enough to create a dance and costume with. A complete stranger. The energy coming off the idea displeased Louis deeply. 

Simply meeting another stranger and spending time with them. Dancing on his own was his desired time and patience was how he worked. Not being paired with a stranger. “I’ve paired you into groups of two, as I call your names, you both will come up and choose a prompt out of the hat.” She stated, pointing to a black baseball cap upon a stool, folded pieces of paper within it. 

Louis waited impatiently as she began to call out the names, tuning out all other noise, waiting for his doom. He wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or on accident, but a few people going up to grab the paper gently ran their finger across his small shoulder. Boys and girls. He flinched every time. Growing more uncomfortable and antsy every time. Time moved in slow motion as his teacher called the last two names. 

“Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sighed and glanced over at the fashion students, seeing the distractor stand and head towards Louis. Just his luck evidently. Louis stood slowly, his legs shaking. Eyebrows were raised as they walked side by side to collect their paper. Louis didn’t make eye contact, meanwhile Harry was. Harry picked the last paper from the hat. Louis just continued to bite the inside of his lip, after a while, a metallic like taste upon his tongue. He let off his lip and felt another hand on his shoulder. Louis finally looked up, seeing the brightest green eyes he’d ever seen. He was so pretty up close, and really tall. Harry was looking down, looking into Louis’ eyes as he gently placed the paper in Louis’ hand. The shorter boy unveiled the scribbled writing. 

“Innocence.” 

Louis shook his head sighing and rubbing his tired eyes. 

“How the hell are we going to do that?” Louis whispered, mainly to himself, but earning the listening ears of Harry. Harry placed a comforting hand on Louis’ shoulder, “We’ll figure it out, alright? Promise.” Louis gave Harry a quick smile, that Harry quickly returned. Louis felt a bit more comforted by Harry, he wasn't exactly sure why, but the way Harry smiled at him and was so careful, it helped. Louis' name was called by his teacher. Louis didn't look back at Harry, simply headed over to see what she wanted. He neared her desk and was greeted with a warm smile.

"Let's work on that developpe, yeah?" His teacher looked just behind him, "You can help him, Haz." She pointed to Louis. Harry smiling and nodding. Louis, in his confused state turned around to face Harry. Harry just shook his head and decided to change the subject,

"We should meet up to work on the project." Harry hardened his gaze on Louis. Louis nodded and huffed a little.

"Tonight at eleven. Meet me in the dance studio." Before Harry could respond to the smaller boy, Louis was already headed out to stretch again. Louis could hear Harry catch up with his friends and Harry starting to laugh. He was sure that they were making fun of him. Louis sighed and slipped on his leather shoes, and began to dance on his own, to no music, just through passion and frustration. He showcased his clothed, pointed toes in a neat leap. 

"Boobear!" He heard an Irish lad say, loud enough for the entire class to hear. Louis landed quickly on his feet and ran over to hush the brunette boy, now who was laughing his ass off among the numerous, "aww's" that now filled the room.

"Shut up, Ni!" Louis placed his clothed hand on Niall's mouth. 

Niall laughed and shoved Louis' hand away, throwing Louis over his shoulder and grabbing Louis' backpack. 

"What the fuck, Niall! Put me down!" Louis pounded his fists against Niall's back, only earning another laugh from Niall. Louis lifted his head to see Ed and Liam laughing near the boys bathroom at the pouty Louis. 

"Swept off your feet Lou, are ya?" Ed laughed and ruffled Louis' hair. His roommates truly were like older brothers to him. 

"So I see you've got a little boyfriend there," Niall laughed, still walking with Louis over his shoulder. Louis slapped Niall on the back.

"Hush up, Niall! I do not!" Louis claimed defensively, his demeanor immediately becoming somber. It wasn't the most ideal place, upside down, hanging from Niall's shoulder. Louis kept telling himself that he didn't take any interest in Harry. He couldn't. No love had really ever come close to Louis, except for one person. One person he chose never to speak of again, never to open the wound that had tore him apart for years. 

Louis swallowed the lump that had began to form in his throat. Angry that he still got choked up over it. 

He should have been grateful, is how he viewed it.

However the wound had never been fully healed, little sayings would come up and slowly it would creep open. Louis cleared his throat as they entered the apartment. Niall put Louis down and engulfed him in a short hug, then plopping on the couch. As Ed took the other side of the couch, Louis sat on the carpeted floor, taking off his shoes and stretching. 

"What's the project?" Niall asked.

"We have to come up with a dance and costume with the fashion majors." Louis looked up at Niall from his spot on the carpet.

"And he got paired with Harry Styles," Niall tried to Liam and Ed in a hushed voice.

"What's wrong with Harry?" Louis asked curiously. Niall looked back down at Louis. He took a minute to respond,

"W- He's like biggest flirt here! Not to mention his insane designs." Niall described excitedly. It just sounded like a nightmare for Louis.

"Insane meaning good?" Was all Louis could manage to get out.

"Like the best! He even was invited to New York last year." Niall smiled. Louis nodded and turned around, then leaning his head on the seat cushion of the couch. Time seemed to zip by like lightning, and before he knew it, it was time for him and Harry to meet. Gathering up his shoes, he glanced up at the shelf that held his pointes, grabbing those as well. Louis put the black hood over his head and took a moment to prepare for meeting with a stranger at night.

One last breath and he was out of the apartment, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

He got to the back alley, seeing Harry leaned up against the wall on his phone. Louis didn't say anything, just turned his flashlight on to find the key, near the bin. He grabbed it and unlocked it, not looking at Harry once.

"Hi Louis." Harry gave him a cheeky smile. Louis returned it with a completely and obviously fake smile.

Louis turned so he couldn't see Harry's reaction, turned the knob and walked into the dark studio. It was not yet lit, Louis went around the room, plugging in the salt lamps and the golden Christmas lights. Once again, not acknowledging Harry. Louis wasn't sure if it was just a defense mechanism, but he didn't talk to him until he absolutely had to. 

"Where do we start?" Louis asked, not looking up at Harry. Harry was getting rather annoyed at the lack of recognition he was receiving.

"Can you look at me please?" Harry asked, grabbing Louis' arm gently. Louis obliged and looked up, but jerking his arm away from Harry's grasp. Harry's eyes were intimidating, though they were soft and gentle, still they burned into Louis. They were strikingly beautiful, not that Louis would ever admit that, but they resembled lily pads. Green. Louis blinked a few times and looked just below his eyes.

"She wanted us to start on the developpe, right?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows, a smirk forming on his face. Louis shifted on his feet and nodded, casting his head downwards to the floor. 

"What would you know about starting it?" Louis asked, his defensive side coming out. Harry laughed a little.

"A lot Louis, my mum is a ballet teacher... your teacher." Harry raised his eyebrows. Louis was in complete shock, now realizing he only called her Anne, never knowing her last name. Louis nodded slowly and began to unzip his bag, the loud pointe hitting the floor. Louis cussed at it quietly, shoving it roughly back in his bag.

"Why don't you wear those?" Harry asked, motioning to Louis' bag. Louis shook his head, looking down sheepishly.

"I-I haven't danced in these in years." Louis told him honestly, pulling out the pointes and looking up at Harry.

"Let's try them out again, I have an idea." Harry smiled at Louis. Louis took a moment to process that he was about to put on pointes on in front of one of the hottest guys in school. But, he slipped off his sneakers and fit the pale pink shoes on, then wrapping the silk type linen around his skinny ankles. Harry kindly offered his hands out, which Louis grasped, getting used to the old shoes on his feet. Feeling Harry's large hands in his small ones felt all too familiar, striking a shock of grief through Louis.

Meaning to let go, Louis accidentally gripped Harry's hands tighter. 

Harry laughed shortly, thinking Louis was losing his balance and saying a quick,

"I've got you, I've got you." As he looked down at Louis' steady feet. "Let's go over to the bars." Harry nodded in the direction of the balance bars where the ballerinas stretched and warmed up. 

Louis kept his hands in Harry's as he walked over, he wasn't standing on the toe box, but the warmth of Harry's hands was somewhat comforting.

Harry breathed out, causing a few strands of his long hair to float onto his face. Louis watched as Harry let go of his hands and put his hair up into a ponytail. Harry was mesmerizing, the way he walked, the way he did things. 

Louis soon realized the sap he was putting himself into and he quickly hardened his heart, turning his previous smile into pursed lips. When Harry finally finished putting his hair up his attention was back on Louis who gripped the bar with his left hand. Louis grabbed his left shin and stretched it over his head, as he had stretched it for years. As Louis stretched, Harry watched in awe of Louis flexibility, in the sheer heat of the moment,

Harry kissed Louis' waist.


	3. Chapter 3

Louis tried to fight the overwhelming sensation. The tears stung behind his eyes, threatening to escape. He tried to ignore the remembrance of how that felt. A kiss on the waist shouldn't have affected him this strongly, his head filling with late night conversations. He bit back the feeling of desire he'd previously felt, he couldn't fall that hard again. So, he pursed his thin lips together, ignoring the gesture entirely, as if Harry hadn't done it. Louis looked slowly at Harry with eyes, hinted behind with sadness. Harry noticed, and offered Louis a kind smile. Louis' heart leaped, giving Harry a genuine smile back. So, they stood there for a moment, taking in and studying each other's smile. The place beneath Louis' ribs where Harry had kissed, felt as if it was burning. To Louis, all of this felt completely foreign, but also, he somewhat understood the energy that was now filling the room. The feeling of familiarity became overwhelming, as the wound seemed to open up once again. Now, tears clouded his vision, his breathing became harsher, trying desperately not to ruin the moment. Louis swallowed thickly and began to unwrap the linen from his ankles, not saying a word more to Harry. 

“Louis what are you- “

“I’m a bit tired,” Louis didn’t convince Harry one bit, as his voice began to shake near the end of his sentence. “I’ll meet you here, same time tomorrow.” Louis finished and ran off, out of the building. Harry was left only to wonder what he’d done wrong. Guilt overcrowded Harry’s head as he gathered his sketchbooks, putting them back in his bag. By the time Harry had gotten outside, Louis was long gone. Harry slung his bag over both of his shoulders and let out a long yawn. 

“Haz? Is that you?” He heard a familiar voice say. He laughed a little in relief of seeing his friend under a streetlamp near him.

“Oi Zayn.” Harry jogged up to him. “What are you doing?” Zayn looked up at Harry, putting a white cigarette in between his lips, then raising his eyebrows. Zayn lifted the box, offering Harry one. Harry shrugged, deciding to grab one of the sticks and put it between his teeth. Harry rarely smoked, tonight happened to be that rare occasion where guilt and stress were mixed.

“Everything alright, Styles? I heard you got paired with Louis.” Zayn asked, lighting the end of his cigarette. Harry looked up at Zayn, nodding his head slowly. Harry bent down, for Zayn to then light the end of Harry’s cigarette. Harry sighed, letting out a blow of smoke into the clean air of the night, then letting his eyes trail up to the black sky. How could he be so dumb? So foolish as to nearly make Louis cry in their first meeting. 

“What’s the topic?” Zayn asked, rubbing his cold hands together.

“Innocence.” Harry actually chuckled, raising his eyebrows, and shaking his head. Zayn was often very easy to talk to when he wasn’t super hyper and yelling when it wasn’t necessary. Zayn was shorter than Harry, but taller than most. His hair was dyed blonde, his black hair peeking slightly at the roots. Harry always thought Zayn looked cool, like he could be in the Outsiders. Suppose it didn’t help Zayn’s case, as he wore a black leather jacket every day. It was somewhat of a trademark at this point. Dyed blonde hair and a leather jacket. Harry and Zayn had known each other since sophomore year of high school, unlike Nick, who they’d only known for the better part of two months. Harry and Zayn had been best friends ever since then, and just so happened to get into the same uni. Zayn furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Harry, cocking his head to the side slightly, 

“How are you going to tackle that one, sport?” Zayn asked, leaning back on the old brick wall. Harry laughed shaking his head and taking the cigarette from his lips to in between his fingers. 

“I have no idea.” Harry’s tone was cold, he didn’t mean it to sound harsh, but all the things happening was beginning to make his head hurt. As his head filled with the worst possible outcomes, Harry sighed and threw his cigarette on the ground, stepping on the hot ash with his stylish shoe. 

“I’ll meet you at home.” Harry said coldly as he walked past Zayn, he didn’t mean for it to come out that harshly, but he wasn’t focused on that right now. Harry headed in the direction of his apartment, clasping his fingers together and puts them behind his head, allowing more air into his lungs. He always panicked after a cigarette, seeing as why he never did it much anyways. 

He chose to let his mind travel to Louis and his project, hoping it would give him that creative outlet in order to put his heightened adrenaline into something productive, immediately, and to his benefit, ideas of what he could portray as ‘Innocence’ could mean. In hopes not to lose the ideas, he jogged back to his apartment, immediately grabbing pencils and his blank male templates, getting to work.

~~~

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Niall asked, upon hearing sniffling and whimpering under Louis’ covers. Niall knew nothing, other than Louis was going to meet Harry for the project. Niall’s mind immediately assumed the worst as his demeanor hardened, his breathing becoming staggered with anger, though he didn’t know the whole story.

Upon hearing another sniffle from under the covers, Niall softened his nature, placing a hand on the lump beneath the covers. Niall grabbed the blanket where bits of Louis’ brown hair peaked out from beneath the duvet. He gently pulled the blanket towards him, seeing Louis a complete mess. Louis was a huge ball of emotions, guilt wracking his body all over. Guilt from leaving Harry, guilt from him. It pained Niall to see him this way, Niall actually had to fight back his own tears as he gently pulled the small boy into his chest.

The empath Niall.

Niall ran his fingers through Louis’ hair, almost massaging his head as Louis broke down again, sobbing into Niall’s chest, leaving his shirt wet. At this point, Louis could care less, same with Niall. 

“You’re alright, sh,” Niall hushed, his fingers still rubbing through Louis’ hair, and gently pulling him to look at his red, puffy blue eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” Louis looked at Niall hesitantly, unaware of if the Irish was trusted enough to know. His scattered and anxious mind decided against it, Louis shaking his head slowly.   
Niall nodded, completely understanding and rubbing Louis' shoulder.

Louis leaned in, back into Niall's chest, where he slowly fell into a deep sleep.

Louis awoke to dried sleep in his eyes, making it difficult to open them. He rubbed them impatiently and tried to fall back asleep, only to open his eyes back up a few seconds later. He soon realized it was still dark outside. Had he woken up in the night? He recalled the incidents from last night. He wasn't against Niall anymore, instead his head was rested against a large, fluffy memory foam pillow. Louis' head drifted slightly to look at the alarm clock, that read 6:00. Seeing as he wouldn't be accomplishing any more sleep, he slowly got out of bed and began to get dressed. 

Today he dressed in black jeans and a large lilac pullover sweater that reached down to about his mid-thigh. Grabbing his keys, his phone and his backpack, he headed out of his apartment. It was on a rare occasion that he actually ate breakfast. It was only when somebody else bought it for him or he had a burning desire to eat in the morning, which wasn't often. Today he had Maths, English, and of course, ballet. In this university, you could get to a class an hour earlier and still be quite late according to the amount of students already there.

Students at the university were very passionate about their majors, so if that meant getting up for hours to get ahead, then that's how it was. This was their dreams they were chasing, much how Louis felt with his dance. Louis somewhat dreaded going to Maths, as he hated the unwanted attention. In truth, everyone admired him, and they knew he would make it far, getting a glance of what could be the most talented dancer in the country. For others, it was simply his beauty, a beauty as prominent as he, you couldn't mask it if you tried. He was smaller, and looked very delicate, a beauty like his was rare, some people just couldn't help it. It was everyone, whether they envied him or adored him, they all were somewhat infatuated with his character. 

Louis eyes still hadn't fully opened yet, as the puffiness from yesterday hadn't fully settled. Upon entering the Maths classroom, he kept his head lowered, as to not make eye contact with anyone. Only glancing up to feel his heart drop, all of the seats from the back of the classroom were taken. Whether the boys in the back had taken the seats just to fuck with him or if the intention wasn't that harsh, still, he risked sitting in the front. His eyes drifted up the rows, completely full of students, until he found one, right in the front of the classroom.

Once again, he dropped his head and walked quickly over to Mr. Jenkins, his professor in the class. Louis looked up at the man and spoke quietly,

"Is there any way I can sit in the back?" He asked. Mr. Jenkins raised his eyebrows.

"Wow, I'll be damned, he does speak," Mr. Jenkins booming voice echoed through the room, Louis almost rolled his eyes. "Sorry, you've got to get here earlier before those boys beat you to it, buddy." Mr. Jenkins said. "You can take that seat right there." He patted Louis' shoulder, Louis fighting the urge to slap it off. Louis huffed and looked at the seat. It was sandwiched between the captain of the football team and Zayn Malik. Louis only knew who Zayn was through Liam and Niall, they had indulged into small talk in between football plays. Louis didn't know much about Zayn other than that.

He sat down, his head immediately meeting his arms on his desk. His nose filled with the scent of lavender and cigarettes, Zayn. Zayn took noticed Louis' state and sipped his Thermos, with a tea bag hanging out the side of it.

"What's wrong, Tiny?" Zayn asked, putting his Thermos down.

"Nothing," Louis said shortly. "Just tired."

The rest of the boring class went on with no further interaction from anybody. Louis knew he didn't have the energy to go to English today. Deciding he'd had a bad night, and ultimately, quite a rough start to the day. he chose to treat himself to a cup of coffee. Today was one of those rare days where he preferred coffee over his usual tea and cream. When he would get coffee, he normally would get iced, vanilla. Coffee was simply too bitter to not add some sort of sugary flavoring. There was a small coffee shop near the Maths building, it was called Nora's, and while Louis had never been, everybody raved about how good it was. Especially their coffee. So, Louis' adjusted his backpack, and opened the door. 

He was met with the scent of coffee and a hint of eucalyptus. The coffee shop was rather modern, with records plastered upon the white walls, the tables were a medium brown oak wood, little succulents hanging and on the tables. Louis smiled, enjoying the vibes of the shop. Upon the counters were blue and white Christmas lights, simply adding the icing to the cake as one of Louis' new favorite spots. 

"Hi Louis." A cheeky voice chirped. It was unfamiliar to Louis, but he looked up and saw a brunette girl behind the counter. Louis had never seen her before, her nametag read,   
'Anna.' Louis gave her a small smile, unaware of how to approach this odd interaction.

"Hi, can I get a medium vanilla latte." Louis smiled. The girl began scribbling on the medium cup. 

"A medium vanilla for the ballerino." Anna smiled cheekily at Louis and got started on his drink. Louis nodded in realization as he figured she had seen his performance a few days prior. He laughed a little and sat at the stool closest to the window. The sun had just began to rise as he suddenly began to feel guilty. He wished his mind hadn't gone straight to last night, but it did. He hated the thought of just leaving Harry alone in the room on such short notice. 

Louis thought back to the kiss on his waist, immediately,

Louis felt butterflies.

However, as soon as the familiar feeling of flutter, a wave of grief and the all too familiar sadness.

He feared the worst with Harry. What if Harry went home and cried, just as he had. That thought was quickly pushed away, as he believed he was the only one who cared too much. How were they to finish their project now that the waters were tense. Louis was completely lost in his own mind, making it a bigger deal than it truly needed to be. It was a toxic habit at this point, but it was like a drug, he couldn't really get away from them, ever. Exhaustion wracked his entire body, as the fatigue of previous day emotions finally hit him. He blinked harshly as to try to wake himself up when his stomach churned, hearing the door open and the cheeky brunette saying a high pitched,

"Hiya Harry!" Louis' breath hitched in his throat as he prayed Harry wouldn't recognize him.

He wasn't very fortunate, as his small stature and large hoodies were sort of a trade mark, still, Louis crossed his legs and hoped Harry would only recognize him as somebody who just wanted some coffee. Louis wasn't hard to miss, anyone could catch who he was from a mile away. Louis began to quietly run his fingers against the counter, signing out an 'H.' Louis' back was facing the order and pick up counter where he believed Harry was, so he had a lower chance of Harry seeing him.

"Good morning, Anna," Harry's voice almost scared him, it didn't ever occur to him how deep it was, supposing he was in some kind of daze last night. "The usual." Louis somewhat curled into himself, trying to not to bring attention to himself. Just to his luck, he heard the clacking of his boots and the scooting of the stool next to him.

He felt the warmth of somebody next to him. He could feel Harry looking at his, so Louis hesitantly met Harry's green eyes with his bright blue ones.

"Look Louis, I'm really sorry about last night, it was totally out-"

"Harry, it's alright. It just surprised me, that's all." Louis assured Harry, and it was true, Harry did surprise him. 

Harry seemed to let out a laugh of relief and cleared his throat, looking up at Louis. And for a few moments, no words were said, there didn't need to be. Louis looked down at his hands, unaware of how to resume the conversation. They simply sat there in silence and let the air around them clear of any tension that was previously there. Let it wash away. Out of the blue, Anna called Louis name. Louis nodded once to Harry, and got up, pulling a five dollar bill out of his wallet. Anna handed him his iced coffee and a ham and cheese croissant.

"I-I-I didn't order this." Louis tried to hand it back to Anna. Anna simply laughed and pushed his hand away.

"The curly lad bought you your drink and breakfast, better thank him." Anna nudged Louis and pointed to Harry, who was looking out the window. Louis blushed profusely, taking his drink and warm croissant back, where he sat down next to Harry. 

"You didn't have to do that." Louis spoke quietly, not making eye contact with Harry.

"I insist." Louis could hear Harry's smile, to which he returned, finally meeting Harry's eyes. 

"Well thank you." Louis grinned unwrapping the warm treat. He sat there in silence, wolfing down the delicious food as Harry just watched him, rather amused. 

"You were hungry weren't you?" Harry giggled as Louis finished and covered his face, trying not to laugh with a full mouth. Louis nodded as Harry removed his hands from his face. Louis' heart leaped , feeling the fluttery feeling again. He met Harry's eyes again, now giving him a wide smile, one that reached his eyes, causing little crinkles to form on the outer sides of his eyes. To that, Harry's heart leaped as well.

They had a moment, but was quickly interrupted by Harry clearing his throat.

"I came up with some sketches last night of the costume." Harry said, unzipping his backpack and pulling out the templates from last night. Louis smiled and nodded, interested to see what he'd come up with. The first page he turned to was a beautiful black piece. With a black sheer top, silver and gold jewels in a design up the stomach and around the shoulders. The next one was about the same sketch as the last one, but a pale pink.

The final one was Louis' favorite. Immediately earning a large grin from Louis, this one was white with the same jeweled pattern, but instead of white leggings, it was a bright white pancake skirt. He stared at it with admiration for a good while, imagining how he would look with his pointes, leaping across the stage in this. Soon, Louis' smile faded, as if he could feel it burning just above his sternum. He realized he wouldn't be able to wear any of them, as they were all sheer top. Louis gulped, wincing as he flipped back to the black one. Sadness filled him as he pointed slowly to the black one, wishing he had the confidence to wear the white one, to wear it with pride, not shame. 

The black would make it less noticeable, he hoped it was small enough that nobody would be able to see it, or that Harry could just add some more jewels to make it less noticeable. Louis' mind began to race as he realized Harry might see it, what he'd hidden. 

Louis began to chew his lip as to not have a panic attack. He felt so ashamed. 

Eventually, they parted ways after a bit of conversation. Everybody else was in class, so he headed home. The apartment was warm, he immediately felt relieved as he headed to the bathroom. He fought through the shame as he looked at himself in the mirror, he looked like a mess, lip lower lip slightly swollen, seeing as how hard he bit. The space below his eyes still puffy. His nose and cheeks were red as a result of the cold. Louis' eyes filled with tears. God, he didn't want to cry anymore. He felt so weak, he's cried twice in the past twenty four hours. Louis collected himself and allowed himself to breathe. Looking at his hoodie on the ground he'd worn the night previous. It wasn't Louis'. Louis let out a shaky breath, picking up the black sweatshirt and rubbing it against his face as if he could somehow bring back the memories that sweatshirt held. 

It was impossible, but it was the closest he'd felt to somebody in two years. A lot can happen in two years, never though, could he forget. He ran his thumb across the fabric, looking back up into the mirror. 'He wouldn't want you to be like this' Louis thought. So, with the little strength he had left in him, he placed his hand upon the left side of his chest.

He could feel his heart beating.


End file.
